Corri,

I'm not going to tell you that you're wrong or that it's not the same. (Notice how well I suck up when I need to? ) The problem with the "food" analogy is that everyone needs food pretty much the same. I think it relates better to Love Languages.

If your LL is Acts of Service, maybe it would be like him only doing household chores to help you when you ASKED for it. I'm guessing you'd respond better if he learned your LL and respected it by becoming HD in AOS.

If your LL is Words of Affirmation, maybe it would be like him only saying meaningful words to you when you TOLD him you needed to hear them. You'd probably prefer him to give thought about what he appreciates about you and WANT to say them to you, right?

If your LL is Receiving Gifts, you'd probably get tired of having to ask him for one, instead of him thinking about it on his own. The gifts might not mean as much to you if you had to ask for them, even if they were more expensive than some trinket that he thought of giving on his own.

In each case, perhaps you'd feel that your LL was controlled by him.(?)

At the risk of generalizing, it seems to me that HDs want their S to initiate and show enthusiasm toward sex because it adds to them feeling loved according to their LL. IMO, it seems to be as important as the frequency of sex.

Please don't read this as an excuse for his moneyshot in your mouth. That was disrespectful. Of course, I can't for the life of me understand why you wouldn't want that. (Sorry, I couldn't resist.)