I think your H is partially right. The part that he doesn't get is that frequently, you have to make a conscious decision whether or not to ML to him. It's not just a matter of how horny you are or are not. It's a matter of how you feel emotionally about him as well. He doesn't understand the fundamental difference between wanting sex because you feel horny, and choosing to have sex because you love your partner and are feeling giving at the time. I think it's that dynamic of he wants and you give that makes it feel like a control issue. Since he has a hollow leg filled with testosterone, he always wants sex. Can he appreciate that you have to make a conscious choice most of the time? That you need to be in the right emotional frame or mind?
The notion of control is kind of an old cliche with sexual desire mismatch issues. But I hesitate to trot it out on my wife because I know she is not a controlling person.
Quote: Now you all can tell me why I'm wrong, and how it isn't the same.
Corri
I find it incredibly romantic that a person would choose to have sex with their spouse out of a sense of love and devotion, rather than from physiological need. But that's just me. It's too bad your H doesn't realize what a precious gift that is.
SM
"If we will be quiet and ready enough, we shall find compensation in every disappointment." Henry David Thoreau
