Quote: So the issues are still there, waiting to be tackled. But I don't feel that he was making a statement that should be given too much significance. It appears it is weighing you down..that one thing he said...but I'm not sure it is an accurate reflection of his feelings.
I think he was just being an ass.
It's not so much the statement itself as it is the complete and utter lack of regard for me. Yes, he's being an ass. Yes, he is talking like a teenager. Yes, he is being obtuse, and yes, he is being rude.
He is also 56 years old, incredibly smart, a good father, a handsome man... and he treats the people with whom he works with ethics, compassion, politeness, and a can-do attitude, from the janitor all the way to his right-hand people. He speaks when he has something to say, and usually when he says something, it is from a deep well of knowledge and experience, that grabs people's attention.
He meets problems head-on and finds solutions to problems that seem unsolvable.
He's typically patient and kind with children. Old ladies and dogs love him.
He has a smile, a wave or a head nod for darn near everyone he passes on the street. He has a great sense of humor and can joke with just about anyone. He hates public speaking but does it anyway, because he has to in his job.
Yet... he says the things he does to me and pulls this crap of the past few weeks.
He knows better.
I'm not giving up on him or my M. I am not letting this one conversation ruin my marriage and cause endless suffering for my family because he's being an ass.
I am no longer interested in pursuing a line of effort that does not yield results. I am no longer interested in tolerating his 'ass-ness.' I am no longer interested in propping up his side of the M.
I am no longer interested in having my efforts thrown back in my face and stepped upon by a man who just doesn't have time to roll up his own sleeves.
It is obvious that my efforts have not yielded fruit. So, I either need to change jobs, or try my luck with vegetables.
I will continue to work on myself and change whatever I feel is necessary to meet my own standards of happiness. If he asks me to go to a function with him and I want to go, I'll go. I will ask for hugs because I need them. If I need sex, I'll initiate. If he initiates sex and I want to have sex, I will. But I am meeting no one's quota but my own.
This is what I am now focusing my energy on. If he has a problem with it, I'll guess he'll have to figure it out. That may sound a bit harsh and hardlined. I guess it is.
