Corri: I think your husband was rude in what he said...and I also think that he was blowing off steam. You have such a gift with words that I'm sure he often feels overwhelmed and saying "it sucks" in the manner of a teenage boy is the best he can come up with at the moment.
If you can, look past this comment to what he is really saying: he is not happy with the current status of the relationship. You aren't either. You said, in a much more eloquent and entertaining fashion, the same thing that he did yesterday. You told us how the R was spiraling downwards, etc. I think you are both on the same page wrt to the R status. He was going for the jugular with the "and it always has" comment...and it was particularly hurtful because you had laid yourself bare, in hopes of turning the tide.
So the issues are still there, waiting to be tackled. But I don't feel that he was making a statement that should be given too much significance. It appears it is weighing you down..that one thing he said...but I'm not sure it is an accurate reflection of his feelings.
I think he was just being an ass.
So, call him on being an ass. Talk about the issues. And THEN decide your next step.
But don't let a teenage boy determine the fate of your marriage. How sad is that.
Hugs to you, friend. I hope you both can lay your issues out tonight and come back tomorrow with a new resolve to spiral UP.
