My H and I both do what your H did (I am getting better at recognizing it in myself). Instead of acknowledging bad feelings within, we both start to think negative thoughts about each other...sometimes I catch myself, sometimes H has to remind me to snap out of my negativity towards him, and sometimes I have to do the same to him. Yes, we have the Bobsy twin style of fusion, so I have been on both sides of this.
It was wise and necessary for you to step in when you did. Keep holding on...I am hoping he'll develop some clarity soon.
It's interesting how he deflected what's going on for him by dwelling on the frequency issue...does he usually go down that road? I could see how it might have been effective in the past( when it was an issue), but he is going to have to come up with something better than that. Or maybe he has...the swallowing issue stirred you enough to post and question what is "typical" behavior. Don't let him undo any of the progress you made...this isn't about your sexual performance and I know you know that. This test that you are both going through ( and he is failing at miserably at the moment) is also a test of your strength and self-regard.
