And just for the record: I don't have guilt over the EA. I don't have guilt over his missteps. I don't have guilt over our stupid decisions prior to MC. I am long beyond that.
I don't know what I would do if I found out he was cheating. I'd have to wait until all the information was in.
What I do know: to me, something clearly is not right in Dodge. My H is ENORMOUSLY communications challenged. There is clearly a 'respect' issue in play. He is very stressed with his new position at work. He's emotionally shutting down. I cannot 'save' him. Regardless of what is going on, he has some decisions he has to make, or will have to make, and he can do none of those things until **I** set a boundary.
That's all I know right now. I am thinking upon the real issue here, not 'behaviors' of his I may have issue with...
I've got: lack of respect, lack of communication, lack of emotional connection and lack of intimacy. I've watched him for months now ignore all these signs, and put his work first, before me or the family.
I think my H is very conflicted. He is a family man at heart, but he is being 'hypnotized' by all that he thinks comes with this new job, ie., power, money, visibility, ego stroking. Could/would an affair fit into that hypnotism? Oh, most definitely. I cannot fathom him being that stupid or unethical, for if something like that would come to light, it would completely RUIN his life. I don't see him risking such a thing, but I will never say never.
That's what I see as I've been thinking about this.
