Sorry it took me so long to get back to this TAG. Here are the revisions to those questions:
Quote: . Why after busting my butt to install over $100,000 worth of landscaping improvements do I get "people who do it theirself are vain?"
"W, I like doing the landscaping, but if you'd rather hire a contractor for other projects, we can talk about that."
Notice how I didn't 'bite' on the vain issue. You don't need to defend yourself on that level.
Quote: Why after putting my wedding ring back on on my own volition 2 years ago does W compain that I didn't put it back on 12 years ago? I originally took it off as a safety hazard.
"W, I'm sorry that I didn't realize how important was to you for me to wear my ring when I wasn't at work so long ago. I didn't do it to intentionally hurt you."
I answered like that because I felt like she is trying to tell you how hurt she still is by it. A simple apology and again, not defending yourself for why you didn't wear it.
Quote: Why does W rlive the alledged affair of 12 years ago and when I ask to air it out even with the C she refuses. She just uses it one-on-one with me.
"W, I'd like for us to move past this as I see it as a source of hurt in our M. I think it would be helpful if we allow our C to help us with it.'
Now, I understand that you've probably said this to some degree with her. The important thing is to keep saying it and not get into defending yourself. She is the one who has to be ready to let it go. Each time she brings it up, say the same thing, using a caring tone of voice and be compassionate.
Now, I'm not remembering, sorry, what is the situation with the alleged affair?
So, let me know if this helps. And have your visited your new thread?
