OG I've been asking the why question since July. Our Counselor asks the same. C continues to tell us marriages with a whole lot more problems have reconciled. When W says we're dysfunctional C says well then how did you produce three perfectly functional children, two with functional families of their own? From all the tirades I hear a woman who has always had an inferiority complex but who has masked it superbly well with her Polly Anna personality. I aggravated it by attempting to pull her out with my John Wayne style. She's found a sense of accomplishment at the law firm where shes works and thinks she's now indpendent. But, the poor thing is dilusional thinking she can continue to live in this area on what they pay her. I think Lillipearl is on to something and it's simply she needs to vent and not see me as the source of all evil. Stories like the wedding ring, painting the garage on Thanksgiving, landscaping the yard, are examples where I must have exerted my dominance, made her feel inferior, and she's rebelling, fueled by years of my abusive behavior, her being the victim, and her being a perfectionist. Remember an earlier post where she said "people who DIY are vain?" She can't heal until she addresses the victim and perfectionist status. It's just that I don't see that happening. She seems to hold on to her position because she's stated in the past if she "folds" she will fall back into the old relationship (W thinks I've not really changed) and she will have no self worth. That's my take after 15 books and 3 counselors. The numbers may seem like overkill but I'm leaving no stoned unturned to save this M. P.S. I still can't get this thread in my favorites. Help?
