TAGIII wrote --------------------------- I've told her over the years how beautiful she was but her frame of reference is past TV appearances by bikini clad beauties and I'll make some comment like "look at that!" ---------------------------
TSGIII, If your w is convinced she is less beautiful or she thinks you think she is less beautiful than someone else, trying to convince her she is beautiful is a waste of time.
If this subject came up in a retional conversation with mt W, I would ask her where "she thinks" she fits in in the beauty scale (1 to 10 or 1 to 100 scale) compared to some females your W's age that you both know. Let it be her decision where she fits in. Ask her where she wants to be and how good or bad she feels for not being there.
My personal preference for precived beauty is perty flexable. Clean, friendly, how they treat people in genersl, not grossly over weight, not some facial norm.
From the rest of your post, it almost sounds like your W is trying to drive you away. My question is WHY? Is she the new Gloria Steinam (sp), Does she have OM? Is she convinced women are better off W/O a H. Mental unballance? She will have to work through those issues. It would be nice if you knew.
I have a FM friend that is older than me. I asked her what she liked and disliked about relationships. She said, corrdinating things like meals, doing things together where you both want to do something. were problems. She wants to come and go w/o consulting anyone, same with meals (time, amount, type of food) when her motivation is at that point where people make decisions. She wants to read when she feels like it and as long as she wants to and not consider anyone else's needs or feel guilty for ignoring someone. She did say a companion is nice to have when traveling.
I think LillePerl has some good insight.
------- I'm trying to save a marriage and there's a cat fight about software on mt thread ----------- I do not see it as a cat fight. Computer things and software is soooo complicated no one can know everything, and it is constantly changing. Just two guys see something a little differently.
