OG_Lou, Wow, in the words of Rodney King "Can't we all get along?" I'm trying to save a marriage and there's a cat fight about software on mt thread! Yesterday around noon came the explosion. We went back to the past and all my mistreatments. A new revelation was as I expected; a resentment of the readings, counseling, and Mission I completed. Reason? I'm "using these like I do a marathon. To show W I just won't quit. You're doing this because you see you are losing everything." To which I replied, I guess I can see why you would see it that way. That was my past behavior and that behavior at times hurt you. My effort now is about changing those behaviors. It hurts me to hear that my effort to manage my anger is perceived as a tactic to get what I want. Her rage continued. She's emoting but I can't seem to find a way to channel it to problem solving. For example, she doesn't think I find her beautiful which is the farthest from the truth. I've told her over the years how beautiful she was but her frame of reference is past TV appearances by bikini clad beauties and I'll make some comment like "look at that!" I don't watch porn, in any way, not TV, not Internet, not in magazines. Any thoughts on ways to move beyond wallowing in the past?
