Mrs. NOP wrote
Quote:

So, when you suggested that you both use debit cards rather than credit cards did your wife agree or did she remain silent? If she remained silent, then you may need to discuss it again listing out your reasons for preferring debit cards and find out if you wife agrees. Secondly, if credit cards are an option that can be used, the two of you should determine what the criteria for a credit card purchase should be. Depending on the status of your finances, credit card purchases/limits should be established.

Off topic, but this is absolutely reasonable for married people and others whose finances are mingled and one of the main reasons that I will never combine my finances with anyone ever again. Yesterday I found a workshop I wanted to go to and signed up for it, all $600+ of it-- with NO ONE to consult or negotiate with. I told my bf afterward that I had done it, and he was nothing but happy for me. How different from the joint checking account days! But I will add that it would have been fine with my late H for me to do such a thing-- I would have consulted him first with something like "There's this really great workshop I want to take and it's kind of expensive." He would have said, "That's fine. Do it." But I even had a bf once who didn't want me to go off and have any fun without him. In that case, finances were not the issue since we were financially separate... he just wanted me to have all my fun with him. <now returning this thread to the regularly scheduled topic>

Manks, I'm not a particularly private person and have several really close girlfriends, some of them going back to high school... we've been together through thick and thin. And yes I do confide in them. We share some pretty intimate stuff... but it's very supportive and we do not indulge in bashing each other's partners. I'm blessed with some pretty wonderful girlfriends and I'm very grateful for the support I get from them. (We're a bit like the girls on Sex and the City, dialed down a notch or two. )My bf, like virtually ALL the men I've known, has no friends that he confides in to that level.