Paul, I'm an intensely private person. Coming from an alcoholic family, I have an ingrained sense of keeping family stuff within the family. I learned a long time ago, that if you didn't tell anyone your problems, then you never had to worry about them being passed around to the public at large as some sort of warning parable.
I think I'm extreme, so I don't know if my preferences should be used as a gauge.
I do think you have to choose your confidants wisely. And I do think that most people going through a difficult time need *someone* to talk to. The down side of sharing marital horror stories with family, is if the family member you're confiding in isn't mature enough to handle an ongoing relationship with the in-law when/if the relationship continues or actually improves. Sometimes family members who love you have a hard time doing that.
If you're going through a bad time maritally, I don't think it's inappropriate to have a family member as a sounding board, but if you don't already have a somewhat close relationship with that family member, the discomfort may arise from the lack of relationship. I have been the confidant of a couple whose marriage didn't just fall apart, it exploded...over a period of two years. Most of their acquaintances chose sides, we just tried to be there for both of them. It was uncomfortable at times, but that may have been a reaction to the extreme emotional turmoil they were expressing.
It's a generic observation that women are more open for conversations regarding relationships than are men. I've never been a girly-girl in that sense, so I wouldn't know for sure.
