Quote: Right, it was her friend suggesting it, but this "friend" has been like poison to our marriage. All other family and friends are 100% for us. This "friend" wants my W to leave and "take care" of her, like a big sister/mother. My w didn't at first think it was controlling, but this friend has a lot of influence on my w. Oh, since w likes that I take care of all the finaces, investing, bill paying, I suggested or asked to use the debit card so we would pay as you go. It makes more sense and w can and does use a credit card at times. I have never argued or fought over it. BTW, this "friend" has a couple of credit cards that are in her mothers name. She has maxed them both out, so why is my wife taking financial advise from her?
Her financial "advice" isn't really the dagger. The dagger is that your wife is allowing her to say disparaging remarks about you that (apparently) aren't justified. And rather than countering her friend with the truth, she allows her friend to color her own perception of you, her husband.
So, when you suggested that you both use debit cards rather than credit cards did your wife agree or did she remain silent? If she remained silent, then you may need to discuss it again listing out your reasons for preferring debit cards and find out if you wife agrees. Secondly, if credit cards are an option that can be used, the two of you should determine what the criteria for a credit card purchase should be. Depending on the status of your finances, credit card purchases/limits should be established. Once the two of you have determined that together, then there is no place for the friend or your wife to cry "control!" Because you can point out that the two of you had a discussion, these were the agreements that you arrived at, so what's the issue.
