It's like growing up with siblings - *you* may whack 'em over the head on a regular basis or loudly point out their perceived shortcomings, but no one outside the family gets to do that.
You reminded me of something I learned early in the process of addressing SSM: it's not nice to air dirty laundry in public. When my frustration with my M was boiling over a while back, I started lokking for someone I could talk to about the problem: friends, neighbors, my brother. They would listen but they seemed eager to change the subject, and they did not reciprocate with stories of their own marriages. At first I thought my friends/brother were holding back and refusing to be helpful, but now I see it otherwise. By their lack of enthusiasm, they were informing me that it was not appropriate for me to be telling them these things. That my own brother responded this way was a little disappointing: if you can't confide in your brother then who? Well, the SSM board! Also, one female cousin has been helpful, too.
Do women have an easier time finding confidants? I assumed that my W was scheming with her friends to cause me grief, but I'm not sure anymore.
