Quote: I've been getting some of that controlling stuff too from my W. An example of it ,she told me, was when she went shopping and took out her wallet. She mistakingly took out a credit card and she told her friend that "H would rather I use a debit card instead of a credit card". Her friend asked why do you let your H control you like that. Does this sound petty to you? I know I may be treading on thin ice here but why does it always seem like the W claims the H to be controlling, when you rarely hear the H complain of the W being controlling. Isn't a marriage a team effort on both parts.
In your case your wife's friend accused you of being controlling. Did your wife agree with her friend's assessment? I'm a big stickler for NOT allowing friends to make disparaging remarks about my husband. It's like growing up with siblings - *you* may whack 'em over the head on a regular basis or loudly point out their perceived shortcomings, but no one outside the family gets to do that.
Regarding the credit card/debit card thing - did you and your wife previously agree that using the debit card was preferable to using a credit card? Or did you make the announcement ex cathedra?
If it was based on discussion that reached a mutual decision, then that's a team effort. If you unilaterally established the standard, then yes, that can be seen as controlling. This does not take into account spouses who may have proven fiscally squirrely.
