It sounds like you have a firm game plan. I appreciate the choice you have made to save your marriage. That is very gutsy.
Quote: ------------- Unfortunately, because no one else knows of the affair, we all are still invited to many of the same events by mutual friends. Being forced to ostracize myself (and my W) from many of these events so that the three of us are not there at the same time is one of the things I have hated most. -------------
I completely understand that. When you get ready to confront your wife, the ability to expose the affair can work on your behalf. That means little right now, but I wanted to plant that seed for later.
Quote: --------- Finally, I second honey’s request for a bit of elaboration on some of the general statements you made in your earlier response if that is something you, or MrsNOP, would be comfortable doing. ---------
Let me know if my post to HP didn't sum it up enough for you. Additionally, my wife has some recreational needs that haven't been fully addressed, but those will be worked out when our business situation changes. In the mean time, we are doing some fun things for her, they are just limited in scope to our local area (the joys of owning a business).
Quote: --------- Did she come right out and give you a list? ---------
Actually, the 'list' was very short and simple. She wanted me to want to do some of the things that she wants to do. She needed me to want to do recreational things with her. I'm not talking bars, but simple outside activities. The problem was my inability to place importance on her need partly due to my experiences - "been everywhere, done everything".
I wanted her to want to have sex with me.
The tough part in all of this is in learning to really hear, and place importance on, what your spouse is telling you.
"And the simple shall confound the wise..." :-)
-NOPkins-
I will ferret out an affair at any opportunity.
-An affair is the embodiment of entitlement, fueled by resentment and lack of respect. -An infidel will remain unreachable so long as their sense of entitlement exceeds their ability to reason.
