Corri: Thank you for pointing me toward NOPkins “A Return To Passion” posts. I actually began lurking in this forum a couple of months before that thread was started and remembered it once you got me there. When I have an evening to kill, I’ll grab a beer and search some of the individual posts from before that thread.
NOP: Thank you for taking the time to review my thread and to inquire as to my current situation.
W and I have not yet reconciled in the sense of everyone living under the same roof. W and I continue in MC and we are doing “sleepovers” (non sexual) a couple of nights a week at the suggestion of the MC to gradually reintroduce ourselves to living together and in an attempt to identify and nip any old habits in the bud. We also are engaging in family events (i.e, family movie night) several other days per week.
The thing that really caused your situation to resonate with me was the comparison of the frustrations you were expressing with some of the posts made by MrsNop once she began posting here.
For example, on one of Corri’s threads, she said: “Speaking for myself, I didn’t have a list of household duties for NOP to perform. What I did have was the desire to be important to him. As time passed and I felt that I came somewhere down the list after career & hobbies, I emotionally withdrew and placed him low on my list of important things.”
Those words could have come straight out of my W’s mouth.
NOP, are you able to express the changes you made in your interactions with MrsNOP that caused her to reevaluate where she existed on your “importance scale?” I believe from your posts that in your mind she was always important to you, as my W is to me. In and of itself, however, that did not prevent both of our W’s from feeling that they were not being treated in a way that reflected their importance. I also know that your career is demanding and I don’t believe that changed much. Did you give up your other hobbies?
I would appreciate any insight you are willing to share on that topic.
