Thank you for saying that you cannot be constantly "packing your suitcase" to keep the R alive. I feel that way too. It seems that I can't get anywhere with heartfelt requests etc... The only way I make progress with H is when I either back off so far that he can hardly see me or when I make him afraid that I might be gone if things continue as they are. I think your H's comment about using all of his energy to feel "comfortable" is telling - that is all about anxiety. Does he have big anxiety in other areas? I am thinking about Generalized Anxiety Disorder here. Maybe he doesn't have this issue but it was a very interesting comment.
