I know what you mean. I am attracted to this child-like, little flame in my H too. The problem is this little flame of his doesn't seem to be sexual or even very social. For instance, one of the things I find delightful about my H is the fact that he sometimes dances full of joy like Snoopy. I remember being at a wedding and watching my H dance like that and knowing that I couldn't join him in this private dance of joy and knowing that he wouldn't think to ask me to join him. I ended up asking my brother-in-law to dance since he was there without his wife. It was an odd sensation to feel like my brother-in-law who I barely know was more accessible to me as a dance partner than the man I'd been married to for many years.
It's similarily odd to consider the fact that a complete stranger at a biker bar would probably be more sexually accessible to me than my husband.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
