Quote: If you got out of this R, and ran straight into another, yes, you probably would end up with the same bunch of problems. But you need to decide if you can figure out your needs and priorities while staying in this R - or do you need to get out to see straight.
I was talking to one of my sister's about my recent weight loss. She knew that I've been having some marital difficulties so she said "People always lose weight when they get divorced.". I think the natural tendency is to leave a painful relationship and then try to fix all your personal problems before you get into another one, but if you just lose weight because you find yourself single again what's to stop you from gaining weight again when you remarry? I think it's a worthwhile effort to try and "fix" yourself within the confines of your relationship because even if you don't manage to save your relationship at least you have been "training" under the real-life conditions of a long-term relationship, not under the optimal conditions of being single or in a fresh relationship. Of course, if working on yourself in your current relationship is the equivalent of training on an uphill course in baking heat and humidity and an empty water bottle, you have to wonder whether you better quit before you keel over from heat stroke. There's some truth to the saying "Whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger." but it's also true that picking repeatedly at a scab can lead to infection or lasting scars. For instance, I have real fears regarding my mental health in this relationship. I don't think sexual rejection is at all good for me because I have inherited some borderline manic-depressive tendencies from my mother. I don't see how this is any different from recognizing the fact that second-hand smoke is especially bad for me because I inherited asthma from my mother. If I'm put into a situation that might make someone hysterical, it WILL make me hysterical. If I'm put into a situation that might make someone wheeze, it WILL make me wheeze. It might just be good sense for me to seek out a relationship with a HD non-smoker.
P.S. Can someone please tell me what it means when a person can't stop thinking in analogies? Is there a name for this syndrome?
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
There's some truth to the saying "Whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger." but it's also true that picking repeatedly at a scab can lead to infection or lasting scars. For instance, I have real fears regarding my mental health in this relationship. I don't think sexual rejection is at all good for me because I have inherited some borderline manic-depressive tendencies from my mother. I don't see how this is any different from recognizing the fact that second-hand smoke is especially bad for me because I inherited asthma from my mother. If I'm put into a situation that might make someone hysterical, it WILL make me hysterical. If I'm put into a situation that might make someone wheeze, it WILL make me wheeze. It might just be good sense for me to seek out a relationship with a HD non-smoker.