Being "in love".

[MJontheMend]

This is knowing YOUR preferences, likes/dislikes, and when you KNOW this about yourself, it doesn't really matter to you what your H thinks... not because you are being mean to him, but because you are honoring yourself.

We are in complete agreement.

So... if you love beautiful flowers and your H hates them... you don't ask him to tend to your flower garden, or go to the Home and Garden Show downtown... but that doesn't mean he gets to ruin your feelings for flowers.

Yes, but who will tend my flower garden? There are a lot of jobs in the garden that require at least a helping hand. If I hire a gardener, my "man of all jobs" says he'll quit. I guess the question becomes do I need a enthusiastic gardener more than I need a chief bottle washer, business partner, court jester and Mr. Cuddles? Could I cut back on my garden design and settle for something smaller and easier to maintain? These questions and others along with the occasional complete regression into emotional fusion is what keeps me here on the SSM BB.