You may not have seen Sage's post to me but it is an awesome analogy. By dwelling on the hurt it is like holding a burning ember in our hands. The only person who is going to get burnt is ourselves. I know you are in a different place, but you can choose to focus on the good things in your life versus the pain. I am not good at that. But I am finding it is possible if I manage my thoughts.
For me monitoring my self talk has made a big difference. When I start feeling down or sad I try to dig into the actual thought behind the feeling and address it! That also seems to be helping.
Really the best thing is going to be time. No fun, but really the only answer.
Your H doesn't seem the type to try to hurt you deliberately, so if he isn't trying to hurt you, there must be a different way to look at actions of his that you are feeling hurt over. I know D parading his tramp around at training club functions feels to me he is throwing it in my face, but in actuality he is just moving forward with his new life and new love. It helps a bit to realize it isn't a deliberate attempt to hurt me.
Pam
"We must be willing to let go of the life we had planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us"
But I am finding it is possible if I manage my thoughts.
