Quote: It seems to me that the hormones involved in phases 1 and 2 have a lot to do with the 'uncertainty' of the other person's feelings. Alas, in a long term relationship, there is inevitably greater understanding, and therefore some of the excitement of conquest, of discovery, is just not there.
Reality, I guess.
Exellent point – which is why the LBS spouse is often thrown back into Phase two her/himself. You end up with a WA and an LBS both in Phase two, just directed towards different people. No wonder it’s so difficult.
But whether the WA leaves or stays, he eventually has to move into stage three and feel comfortable there if he’ll have a long-term relationship with anybody. Your NG seems to have a wee bit difficulty adjusting – but actually I think that’s normal, albeit very frustrating. Have you tried “asking for what you want”? On your anniversary, when he was e-mailing and you were cooking, what would have happened if you had called him on it? In a laughing, loving way? As in “hey lover boy, I’m getting a bit lonely up here. Come and talk to me” …. Or some variation of that that you’re comfortable with.
Often they need to be reminded, ehm, more than once. My h used to have this habit of getting up from the table before I was done …. drove me bonkers. I don’t know how many times I had to “lovingly call him on it” before he “got it”.
Pen, whistling something resembling “men are like dogs”……..
My h used to have this habit of getting up from the table before I was done …. drove me bonkers. I don’t know how many times I had to “lovingly call him on it” before he “got it”.
