Hiya Maya - You are simply the best! I know by 6 this evening I will be fab.
Review of goals, seeing that it is Feb next Tuesday - yikes
Enjoy today, everyday, with NG Mostly I'm doing OK. I guess wigging out when he is not here is something I have to work on.
Focus on improving my health, physical energy, and emotional well being Very little progress. Actually, NG has been more supportive than my buddies, he's been dragging me off to yoga every Saturday. We plan to get our cycles out when it is a little warmer. I'm back at my target weight
Bask in the comfort of my social network Off to a flying start here - seems like we are at the age or phase of life when we are reaching out to each other.
Bottom line - I'm doing better than I think, I'm letting little things detract me from the big picture. We are not quite where we need to be, but work-in-progress is good, right? I'd just be much happier if NG will open up a bit more. I often wonder if he thinks of ow, if he has regrets, etc etc...
Happy Monday everyone! How incredible that its February tomorrow Feb 14th marks my first anniversary on this bb, what a lifetime this past year has been... Feb 14th is also the 21st anniversary of NG and I becoming 'an item' - he took me dancing, paid a fortune at the club, kissed me on our first dance, and we left immediately - ahhh sweet memories
NG actually took an earlier flight home on Friday - I barely managed to get my manicure done. It was a happy reunion, though he had no comment about my new skirt - I'll live - the admiring glances from strangers is sufficient for now - well, it'll have to be, won't it Friday night was fab and went a long way to soothe my frayed nerves
A wonderful weekend, I was totally relaxed, did not make any plans and NG seemed utterly content. I've dug up this from an earlier post by Ellie over at GBO's
Quote: Quality time is undoubtedly one of your H's LLs, as it is my H's. When H calls me and I am busy and kind of "hurrying up" the phone call - he hates that! (In fact, this is a good reminder to me, as I think I've slipped back into that a little.)
Okay, I know this is a quandary - how do you do the 180 of being less available and moving on with your life - and still speak his LL of quality time? Hmmmmm....not sure - but when my H was home but pushing me away - I did it with little things like sitting next to him while he had breakfast (instead of doing the dishes), sitting on the couch with him at night while he read (instead of working on the computer right next to it), looking directly at him when he spoke to me and listening more intently (instead of being distracted by the kids or multitasking).
This is so us - NG just wants to be, I obsess about the stuff that needs to be done - what a waste of my time. I'm learning to co-exist with the unresolved, it certainly seems to make for more harmony at home, and hey, I get away with doing less
I've been planning a build-up to Valentine's day, nothing extravagant, just light hearted and a wee bit cheeky. Invite NG to be a little playful too. Let's see how it goes.
This is so us - NG just wants to be, I obsess about the stuff that needs to be done - what a waste of my time. I'm learning to co-exist with the unresolved, it certainly seems to make for more harmony at home, and hey, I get away with doing less
Me too! I was always rushing around doing stuff and missing the point that just "hanging out" was critical to my M.
Sage
Relax. Appreciate. Be calm. Laugh. Enjoy. Be secure. Be loving. Be loved. Don't personalize. Don't ASSume. Accept. Be grateful.
Thankfully nothing much to report. I was thinking of a fun approach to Valentine's but on further reflection, felt we were not ready for it. I've bought NG a model plane kit, something I know he will enjoy tinkering with. That's about the extent of my plans so far. I'll leave the rest to him, with no expectations that there will be anything at all.
Hie Maya and Anne - Alas, I have no answers for either question
Thursday was rough. NG promised we'd have lunch together and do some much overdue grocery shopping. (I used to do the shopping myself, in my super-organised days, and then realised that it just gave NG more time to romance ow, so now, household chores are a joint effort). Then as we are having breakfast, NG says he needs to run to a meeting. Now normally this is not a big deal. But after promising me we'll have lunch, he is casual about breaking his word. I'm afraid it just opened the floodgates for me, emotionally. I just could not hold at bay the memory of all the times he has been careless with my feelings.
Of course he could tell something was wrong, but as I was valiantly trying to keep a brave front, nothing much was said. The atmosphere was stilted. We did meet for lunch, then I went off to my work meeting. Did not feel like cooking dinner, so we went out again. A cordial evening, not particularly warm or loving.
I know we'll have these bad moments, but it really was quite scary how quickly my rsentments surfaced. Sometimes I just wonder if we can recover from such a bad experience. It just reminded me that I need to continue getting my own life, and continue detaching from NG.
I've had technical problems and so haven't been able to post much.
I'm sorry that you're feeling down. I just wanted to post to let you know that i'm thinking of you. I know you'll work through all of this especially with the support you get from the posters here.
Quote: I have a question for you all- if we aren't pursuing, but their LL is little gifts, what does that leave us?
Anne,
It would seem to me that it just means you need to take the opportunity to use little gifts when your SO makes contact with you. I haven't read all of LL, but as I recall, little gifts aren't just material things? You might want to go back and re-read that chapter of the book. You might gain some new insights.
Feb 14th marks my first anniversary on this bb, what a lifetime this past year has been... Feb 14th is also the 21st anniversary of NG and I becoming 'an item' - he took me dancing, paid a fortune at the club, kissed me on our first dance, and we left immediately - ahhh sweet memories 
Friday night was fab and went a long way to soothe my frayed nerves 
Slowly
