Slowly, Congrats, you have come so far. You seem to have the Midas touch when it comes to DBing. You are an inspiration to us all. Good luck and keep up the great work.
Quote: Somewhere along the conversation, I know we were subtly addressing the issue of forgiveness between us. We are both still feeling raw, and in no shape to have a direct conversation, but I sense a lightness in him that was not there 2 weeks ago.
Ahhhhhh. Excellent on your part to notice you're not in any shape to have this kind of conv when you're raw. I could take a page from your book any day.
Of course old family resentments play into your M - it's all intertwined in ways we can only imagine. Good for him, opening up to you, and good for YOU, creating that safe place to share.
HI everyone - Its been a rough few days, with HR reductions taking place at work, quite traumatic all round. I'm ok for now, but feel sad for those impacted.
NG is now on a business trip, one I could not join him on. It's quite alarming how the fears rear up quickly - I'm trying very hard to just be. A big part is due to his reluctance, or inability, to give me reassurances with regard to his future intentions. I know, I should not need these, but there you have it.
Glad to see you, Slowly. Thanks for stopping by my place.
Quote:
NG is now on a business trip, one I could not join him on. It's quite alarming how the fears rear up quickly - I'm trying very hard to just be. A big part is due to his reluctance, or inability, to give me reassurances with regard to his future intentions. I know, I should not need these, but there you have it.
OK. It is understandable to get a bit wiggy re: his road trip. But, you have supplies in your db GAL kit now . What things can you focus on and enjoy while NG is gone? For gosh sakes, do NOT sit home alone (or even with all of us on the bb) for most of the time NG is gone! Refresh yourself. Replenish. Make plans with friends for dinner and chat. Go to the theater. Give YOURSELF a fabulous 180..... and let him wonder where you are when he phones home.
As for getting reassurances? Sheesh. Are you asking for these? I hope not. It is a seesaw at best now that you are off the rollercoaster... cause I really think you are, now. I see NG's anxieties rise when you are clear and strong and, well, the oppositie happens, as well.
Is HE looking for reassurances? Are you giving them? I think you needn't be direct in this. But remember that NG really loves WOA and the like.
Sit back. Relax. Let him know he will be missed AND that you are really looking forward to some "me" time. Empresses like you don't sweat the small stuff. They just wait for the treasures and delicacies to be placed at their feet when their grateful heroes return home.
i agree, you know that wondering and waiting for assurances will only bring some disappointment, but GAL things only bring fun fun fun! remember to act as if you had no doubts or worries while he was gone when he comes back. and keep thinking, "he will come back". how wonderful is that???
Dear Maya - What an inspiring post to wake up to - you know me so well, I was spiralling down the woe-is-me path. BUT, you are so right in that my GAL repertoire is better than ever
On Monday, after dropping NG off at the airport, I got together with 3 childhood friends, and it felt sooo good to just kick back and chinwag and reminisce. Tonite I'm out again, which will be grand.
Wigging out when he travels without me aside, I guess I'm getting 'impatient' at his reticence to reach out emotionally. The romance part. It was great for a while, until he had contact with ow in Nov, and learnt some unsavoury things about her. Its like he has retreated into his cave Not a lot I can do about it though, still early days it seems.
On my quest to delight in details, I'm having an early spring clean. In fact, I plan to install upgrades to my life continuously - satrting with my wardrobe this month. Gave away a bunch of oldies to make room for exciting new stuff. Looking forward to shopping at the weekend.
It has been a really rough week for me, with NG away, and not as 'communicative' as I had hoped. He responds well when I call or IM him, but this week, there has been nothing initiated by him Plus all the anxiety about whether he is in fact with anyone else, whether he is back in contact with ow - all cheeseless tunnels, but just could not back myself out this time. BUT, he comes home tonite, and we have a nice weekend ahead of us.
Part of my funk may be down to the flu I'm just getting over. And of course, while unwell, I was not really focusing on my goals. Today, I will pull myself back into shape. Off to get a manicure and pedicure done this afternoon, and will be dressed to kill when I pick up NG from the airport.
So understandable, Slowly. Do what you can to reinforce yourself before NG comes home. No leaky anxieties, ok? How can you ge tthe most positive outlook in the briefest amount of time? Hmm?
A quick fix. Well, they are few and far between... I KNOW!~ I will tell you haw wonderful and fabulous you are and how NG has noticed all the changes in you. It is a seesaw, m'dear... Be grounded so that NG can be the one stuck up in the air...
Not a lot I can do about it though, still early days it seems. 
