That really struck a cord. I tell my husband, who is a wonderful lover, that he makes me feel like making love to me is a chore. I AM sexy whether he thinks so or not. I threw out all my sensible panties and splurged ( big time!) on pretty panties and the very best sexy bras. He really hasn't seen most of it. He will have sex if I initiate it and it has been that way through out our marriage. He will be a great and attentive lover TO me. But he seems to experience little passion.

I used to let it make me feel so damn unpretty. I used to let it make me slouch and over eat and whine. Now, I am sexy for me. Yeah, I miss sex a zillion times a day, but I no longer think think his "frigedness", if men can be that is My issue.

I know that I am not willing to live in a sexless marriage, that is what children and roommates are for. If we should reconcile, that would have to be healed first or I know that I would be soon be resentful and cranky again.

Arguing with reality is like trying to teach a cat to bark—hopeless. (Byron Katie)