Jenny, I totally agree with this post. I too went to a high school reunion this year and looked great. Even though I was six mos preg at the time, I looked nice. A girlfriend of mine mailed some pictures of the party to me a few weeks afterwards and I briefly thought about keeping them from my husband. The reason? I looked smashin! There was something about me that night and I suppose it is that hard-to-define quality of sexiness.
I was in shape, had taken pains to make myself look good, had on a new shirt (hey it doesn't take much to improve my outlook, lol) and would be seeing people who had once found me attractive as a young girl.
So to answer your question CoGal, yes, it is extremely hard to continue to feel sexy when your mate doesn't recognize this about you. I felt tons better about myself when I got in shape, got well fitting clothes and took care of myself (things like nice smelling soap or whatever).
Also, my husband agreed to work on things with me and began showing signs that he, too, found me attractive.
Could I have done it with a husband who refused to see me as sexy? Probably not. Not because I am so fused with him, but because of the opposite: My self esteem would have continued to erode if I had ALLOWED MYSELF to be treated that way. Taking back control of my own sex life empowered me. Allowing him to not work on things and basically have no repercussions for his behavior is eroding more than your sexiness. Kwim?
The feelings of empowerment made me feel just as sexy on the inside as taking care of myself on the outside did.
