Thanks for the uplifting comments. My situation is a bit different than many of the HDW's on here...my H literally has never learned to initiate sex...because he was never allowed to (married a couple of very controlling women who used sex as a weapon to tear him down).
Sorry for the hijack here...but I noticed that as my feelings of "sexiness" dwindled and my self-esteem took a nose-dive I did less and less to make myself appealing or sexy...it was becoming a vicious cycle. It's very hard to try to make yourself sexy, when you don't feel sexy...know what I mean. I noticed this one day when I looked in the mirrow...I thought "Geesh, I wouldn't want to ML to that either!" That was a pretty harsh statement about myself, as I normally view myself in a much better light...but I noticed outwardly I was becoming the person I felt I was inside....that had to change, and PRONTO!
I am a very attractive woman, even without makeup and my extra pounds since our son. But I had stopped wearing makeup on the weekends, ran around in my "slob clothes" more often, and would just pull my hair into a braid or pony-tail rather than take the time to do it like I normally would. I was dressing more for the ease of caring for my son on the weekends and wasn't dressing for my H or myself for that matter. It dawned on me when I was standing there looking in that mirror...that I didn't think I was worth the effort anymore.
What's my point? Now I make the effort to make sure I take the time to do my hair, makeup etc. So I reflect the woman I want to become again. I mean...my H liked the sexy clothes I wore when we met...and no, I may not be able to fit into my leather pants again (yet)...but I wear the low-cut tops etc that I know he likes...and that I liked to wear before our S.
Those are changes I'm trying to make, and the effort seems to have been noticed my by H.
