I agree that now isn't the time to move to the basement. Let it play out a while longer to see what happens.
HD, I'm sorry for you about all this. It's such a waste! You two could be using all this energy for some great times together if only "power" wasn't the issue.
You've made some great points to her that she won't be able to squirm away from. Don't give it up now! (That physical intimacy thing with Mom was priceless, btw!)
Just had another call with her. She said she had called her old employer in Columbia and wanted to know if I would fight her on the move, assuming that DD3 would come with her. I told her I would have to get back to her on that.
This led to her telling me how much she hates KC, has no friends, support system, etc. Which led to the discussion that she has done more than enough to work for the relationship. Which led to the discussion that my expectations were too high concerning sex.
And on and on. She finally said that she would see a counselor with me, but that this time I had better listen to her (referring to her view that I didn't listen to the last counselor, which I think is wrong...our MC didn't really tell us anything worthy, except that I should be patient.)
H: Are you going to look for the counselor this time? Oh, and by "her" I'm sure your planning to get a female counselor because, of course, male counselor's opinions on this issue have no validity.
HD wrote: ---------- Just had another call with her. She said she had called her old employer in Columbia and wanted to know if I would fight her on the move, assuming that DD3 would come with her. I told her I would have to get back to her on that ----------
and your correct response : "Yes, I will fight to the death for my family, and that includes both daughter AND YOU. I certainly hope that you have enough backbone to fight for our marriage."
In the background, not for wife's purview: there are laws governing a spouse leaving with a child and crossing state lines. You and your wife (your wife especially) understand these rules. Get yourself a lawyer and make sure that SHE knows about the threats on false abuse reports. Tell her everything that is going on. You guys are both lawyers and need a different backup plan than others.
Expect your wife to get vicious before she takes you seriously.
-NOPkins-
I will ferret out an affair at any opportunity.
-An affair is the embodiment of entitlement, fueled by resentment and lack of respect. -An infidel will remain unreachable so long as their sense of entitlement exceeds their ability to reason.
Making false legal reports could not only get her disbarred, but such actions would most assuredly hurt her status and former university career.....
-NOPkins-
I will ferret out an affair at any opportunity.
-An affair is the embodiment of entitlement, fueled by resentment and lack of respect. -An infidel will remain unreachable so long as their sense of entitlement exceeds their ability to reason.
Welllllll, there ya go. She sure is pulling out all the stops, she went from telling you she is moving to saying she will go to MC. Sounds like she knows you are not going to get bluffed out this time. ((((((HD))))) Might be a very bumpy ride. You can do it *wink*
You are getting a lot of good replies; I am just standing back a bit and watching it unfold. I didn't want to comment earlier because with you and W, there is a tendency for these interactions to blow over and then everything goes back to the way it was. I know you have the ability and confidence to ride the storm...you will not get anywhere if you back down. Remember that a reasonable sex life is a healthy thing...go for it.
FWIW, I say yes to the MC, and no to the move to the basement.
Actually, she just called again, same question about whether I'll fight her on the move to Columbia, and I again told her I would have to think about it.
HD wrote to annette: ------------------- Actually, she just called again, same question about whether I'll fight her on the move to Columbia, and I again told her I would have to think about it. -------------------
So?
Don't tell me you are going to give up and take the easy way out just as things start getting interesting.
That is EXACTLY what she is hoping and EXPECTING you to do.
Don't do it.
-NOPkins-
I will ferret out an affair at any opportunity.
-An affair is the embodiment of entitlement, fueled by resentment and lack of respect. -An infidel will remain unreachable so long as their sense of entitlement exceeds their ability to reason.
Hairdoggie, why is she asking this? Is she contemplating a D? Is she recognizing you are at the end of your rope and weighing the cost if she doesn't shape up?
I'm with NOP, you stand your ground and say that you'll fight to the death for your family. Don't give her any illusions that a D will be easier for her.
HD, your wife NEEDS TO KNOW that she and daughter are worth YOU fighting for them.
-NOPkins-
I will ferret out an affair at any opportunity.
-An affair is the embodiment of entitlement, fueled by resentment and lack of respect. -An infidel will remain unreachable so long as their sense of entitlement exceeds their ability to reason.
