It sounds to me like you finally spoke up and told her what was what. Next time it comes up, why not ask her WHEN she plans on working WITH you to correct the problems. There is some reason she wants to put all the "blame" for the problems in the marriage on you and you alone. She clearly is digging her heels in. Now that you have confronted her about it, don't let her put everything on you. I have a feeling this is the crossroads and if you sit back and let it go it all might just slip away.
Seems to me she is also worried about what will happen otherwise why would she have brought that up to you, about not saying ILY? I seem to remember you saying she says or feels every man in her life leaves her and will ultimately say you left her too. She clearly doesn't see how she has pushed you away which will ultimately end in you leaving at which time she can say......... see I told you, everyone leaves me. Somehow you have to make her realise what she is doing.
