I completely understand...last night I probably could have confronted my H about not following through (he put me off Sun night and said we'd ML last night), but I chose not to at that time. I had a feeling I would be put off (he works nights every 4-wks and comes home at 11:30pm so I'm usually asleep by the time he gets home.) Why didn't I confront him? My feelings were too hurt, and when I'm emotional I tend to lose my point during discussions...I'll save that for this weekend probably (if he tries to put me off again...but I won't let it go for long). If however he doesn't put me off again, then I'll let it go. I mean, he's bound to revert back to old behaviors from time-to-time, it's only reasonable to figure on that. That's why during times like this I concentrate on the fact that he's communicating better/more openly with me.
I'm quite sure that I couldn't be expected to change my sexual behavior overnight without stumbling...so I can't expect him not to stumble either. Sometimes I find I have to backoff of the SR part and concentrate on the area of communication...if I do that I find the other rolls back around. It's soooo easy when you're lacking in the sexual part of your R to get tunnel vision to the point that there's simply too much pressure in that area.
When you do choose to have your next discussion with your W you may try letting her know that you'd like to know more specifically what it is that she's working on in order to help support her efforts. I've explained to my H that if I have an idea of what he's doing then it's easier for me to backoff and let him work on his own things, in his own way...because then I have the comfort of knowing that yes, it's important to him, and yes, he's actively working on the issue...not avoiding it which for me is the ultimate frustration & rejection.
Good luck with your discussion...they're never fun...but they can get easier.
