Dear HD,

I feel for 'ya, man. I've tried a dozen times to have "The Talk" and I get even less of an answer than you get. The sex I do have with my W is very detached. It could be that she is imagining she is with someone other than me . I have faith that we will make strides toward real intimacy.

I have changed myself into a more tender, thoughful-acting person. That, coupled with the occasional tantrum, has led to results. Your W has responded negatively to the idea of discussion of sexual issues. She may respond positively to random hugs and kisses if she does not feel that they must lead to sex.

I'm still thinking that your W is changing for the better.

Paul, a man who doesn't have all the answers, just the right ones.