Your W does what she does because she can and thinks she has the control...and is fighting to keep it. She will be a tough nut to crack...and some nuts don't. Hate to say that, but my sister was the same way and she would not budge. She isn't married any more by the way. By the time he left her, she begged saying she knew she was at fault and would change...but he didn't care anymore. I know many people who work with their spouses to meet common ground...it is the only way a marriage will work in the long run. But she seems awfully determined to not like sex...I think she needs thorough counseling on her own to find out why she needs to convey the message so loudly that she doesn't want to want sex. She is not special because she is good to your kids and it does not take the place of physical intimacy between two young people. But she knows you are not going to push it...and don't know if she will change even if you do.
