Party pooper

[cinemanymph]

HD,

I'd like to chime in here. I do not anticipate sex. The thought that my H is expecting sex at a certain time fills me with anxiety. Anxiety is not conducive to horniness. Ya'll know what I am talking about; birthdays, holidays, anniversaries, arranged sex dates. The proper response to thoughts of sex with your lover should be pleasure and anticipation, I understand this. But, for me, it just doesn't happen that way. If I am the one doing the planning and "ambush" H, I enjoy it immensely (I'm sure he does too). If he is the one doing the initiating, the anxiety gets quite intense. This anxiety has little to do with what H does or doesn't do, it's an old response that I don't have any more control over than I do the blood flow in my veins. I know it's probably a power thing, but I need that power to keep being sexual with him. I didn't have the power to choose my sexual history, I want it now. I am choosing when, where, and how I have sex. Do you think asking for no initiation is too high a price to pay for regular sex? I know this seems like a gross imbalance of power in our M, but as time goes on and we both sexually mature, then the balance can be restored. I can at some point begin to accept and enjoy his initiation.

Maybe asking MrsHD what thought processes are at work and what kinds of physical reactions are taking place when you touch her might give you some insight as to why she keeps putting you off. If she believes that you will take such information and use it constructively, then she may feel safe telling you.