HD, would your W consent to a scenario where she can experiment with touching you if you agree not to respond? I'm talking about her getting through the obvious anxiety that she experiences when she touches you and you become aroused. The next time she touches you as she has a couple of times recently, what if you said, "I like that, but I understand that when I reach for you and want more, it causes you anxiety. What if you just go on touching me for a while, and I will just lie here and not reach for you." I'm obviously not talking here about a permanent solution, but just a gradual reduction of her aversion. What's that called when you're afraid of spiders and first they show you a picture of a spider, then you look at a spider in the next room... I can't remember... It seems like she's reaching out oh-so-tentatively and when you have the (admittedly normal) response of being aroused, it overwhelms her. (Mr bf seems easily overwhelmed by me <sigh>... I think it may very well be a sign of some kind of abuse... a child being forced to take something in faster than s/he was able to.)
