Paul: Your mention of the "larger house" struck home. It seems my W is always looking for something outside of our situation to make her life better, e.g., a house in the country, a home in Wisconsin, as if those are solutions to all of our problems. When I present to her the problems I am having with our lack of intimacy, she dismisses these as unimportant, something I need to get over, something with which she can't help me, or something she is "working on" in some invisible way.
I am trying to work on the infrastructure of our relationship, and she is working on improving the location or the appearance. HP can relate here...Missouri is not the best place to live in the world, but thousands of people manage to do it every year. Sure, we have yucky, icy winters; the threat of tornadoes in the spring; hot and humid summers. But even paradise has tsunamis. If we move, we will have a whole set of different problems, and we will still have the relationship difficulties we face here.
Y'all are right. I just need to sit her down and tell her that I can't currently envision a future for us.
