I think you are right....I am NOT ready to go for divorce. I just enjoy spending time with H, even tho he THINKS that he does not enjoy being in our R. I say think, because I am totally convinced that he has made himself believe that he is not happy here. He is in love with the romance of R with OW. He must because she is a loser! 4 kids (by 3 different men) married 3x. She has got him wrapped around her finger it is pathetic. So much that he is willing to give up everything. But in the same respect you are right, he says he is not happy here, he says that he doesnt love me, then leave...But he doesnt. WHY? Even when we fight about OW, which I know I am not supposed to bring up...He threatens that he is leaving, but still he comes home. Next day is acting normal again. It is just so painful to know that when he has a free moment he is calling her.
I am honestly shocked that you have not heard from H. Exspecially since you sent him that bill. I thought for sure that would of sparked some kind of reaction from him, good bad or otherwise. I wonder if he is wondering why YOU havent contacted him. That would be nice. He has got to be thinking what the hell, she doesnt even text me. But dont let others bring you down about what you are doing. Only you know what is best for you. Family and friends just want you stop hurting, but what they dont know is that you two wouldnt have gotten married 2x if there wasnt some undeniable connection between you.
PHM, dont get frustrated. You are going to do ok with going dark. Sometimes I wish I could go dark but because H lives with me it makes it hard. I struggle with the techniques I am doing, because it just seems like acting as if JUST isnt working. I was going to try to use the LRT technique, but I just dont think I am ready. I want to be ready because I honestly believe H will not snap out of this unless he is given a bit of reality thrown in his face. He gives up our life, then he goes to live with mom, starts paying child support, and there wont be much money to go visit OW.
I did something that might sound stupid, but what the heck...I put a phone number in my cellphone (it is my girlfriend from work) but put the name "MIKE". I want to see if H checks my phone, and if he does what will he think of some guys number in it. We do not know any Mikes. In fact the only Mike I know is my ex-boyfriend from highschool that tried to get me back a few times when H and I started dating. (Dont forget H and I have been together since 17).
Sometimes I wonder what life would be like without H. I have been with him almost half my life. I dont know any other. I am sure you guys feel the same sometimes. Then I worry about what will happen to my daughter and I, struggling to make ends meet, etc.
I really hope that our spouses realize soon what they are throwing away before it is too late. I am going to pray hard tonight for all of us to have the strength to keep doing this. I know I faulter alot, trying the only way I know how to get through each day.
