yea, Molliew, guess we were having a good old gripe and pity party. I am chalking it up to post Holiday depression. I have been excellent about being dark, although I was disappointed that i did not even get a text for NYE. Had a great time with MIL /SIL, they made me feel so loved and supported, but i do know that they know some things that I may not. MIL made comment that she told H to be careful of OW H, he may try to get him when he is on motorcyle. Now how would she know to make a comment like that to him unless he was telling her stuff about OW H? I know all I've told her, but she is really good about not telling H . He gives his family little info, not much more. Keeping this pretty quiet, I feel , to not let everyone know this has been going on alot longer than he said. I read the 5 LL, and it was quite an eye opener for me. Now I know the resons H gave to leave were an excuse, but we did have some major communication problems. I admit to my part in that, and through this BB, and reading LL, and other things ,at least i know what my part is and can fix it for mysef!And if H does not come back, I will be much better for myself and for anyone I may have a relationship with someday. But hey, this is about positives, and 1/5 and still not asking for divorce filing forms!! I am almost afraid for him to call, cause I know it'll be about filing soon.
SIL says at NYE stay-over, H never had his phone ring once and he never checked it either.( Oh sure, its ok to do it in front of me though)I didn't say anything, but I know he checked it when he went to the bathroom.I was on my soap box, telling them how much H loves her in order for him to be with her, and her drama. BUT -SIL,says if he is so in love, how come he didn't at least try to bring her? How come he didn't at least show us a picture of her? And MIL says I'll say it again- I CANNOT see my son with a woman with two kids that age (one is preteen boy, other is in 9th grade) . Maybe if they were 3 or 4 yrs old, he may want to help mold them and be a daddy. Just wait till the first time he tries to dicipline them or if they touch his stuff or his bike! We all had a good laugh over that one.
They said alot of supportive things to me.My MIL gave me beautiful gifts, and among them was a nice $$$money gift!! And they took me to lunch. I was saying that I had not been to H's apartment since I helped him move in/ and he helped me get a car.Over 4 months now.He has never invited me. MIL says "well, he knows we were gonna drive up here today, and guess what-we were never invited either! I would've loved to see his apartment." Earlier in the day she had asked me how far H lived from me (35-45 min) . Thats why, I said to myself. I thought maybe they were gonna try to go anyway, but yesterday is H's turn to close up shop, so he has to stay late on that day every week.
And you were not too harsh on us, but this is the only place I can really really vent and have no damaging effects on any relationships in my life! And I'd like to believe my h is hurting too, and maybe not coming around cause he still has feelings for me, and cannot deal with two highly charged emotional sitches at one time. Even his Mom and SIL said they believe he does not know what he wants.They were amazed at the party story, and just shook their heads. Am I crazy? Is he just trying to do some more control? Is this type of behavior of someone who already has OW and says he wants to divorce me?Or am I hanging on to little sreds of that rope...