Ok Sun and Sportster, here I am with my 2 cents. I am interpreting a lot of control in your posts--deleting messages, "getting him to kiss" you. You are totally not letting go of the "rope". Sun, you have to let go of him and let him go through this himself. I know it makes you angry and hurt that he is still connecting with OW, but he is home right? Even if he says it is just for D, so what, he's there. Perfect time for you to practice patience and forgiveness. She knows something is happening to her messages cuz he isn't responding to them and she is probably telling him that, so they probably both know what is going on. Please try not to be a "victim". I know it is hard because you feel betrayed and disrespected. Right now you can't do anything about it--you can't control it or cure it. It has to run its course without you trying to influence the outcome. Let's focus on us and the behaviors we bring to the R that may contribute to the problems and work on those. That is something we can control. Read DR again and again. I see you two just having a bitch session here and not really working on yourselves today. My H and I are still not living together but we are getting closer to each other all the time and it is because I am focusing on myself and my behaviors. He is by no means perfect and still can be a jackass, but I am getting better at letting him be a grown up and make his own decisions about his life. We cannot make people do what we think they should do. We have to decide whether we can accept them the way they are. I know you are angry and hurt and maybe you want them to hurt too. Believe me, they do--maybe not the same way as us, but they are hurting too. They don't want to live like this any more than we do, but they don't know what to do about it yet. They are trying to find their way. Gotta let them go. I may have been harsh and these are opinions, but I really want you all to succeed at this and I feel I need to share what is working for me. Patience and forgiveness.
