I know about hearts hearting. And I am happy to help you with any advice, although I don't know too much and MY H is not here, so I can't say that I speak from anything other than common sense and because I am on the outside of your sitch, I may see things that you are missiin. And hey, you are from NY, so I gotta help ya. For years- H, me my sis and BIL would go into NYC to see the tree at XMAS , shop at some stores, eat pretzels, and eat at the Stage or Carnegie Deli. Some of the best times I ever had.
I noticed you are keeping your distance in the house. Why? this just gives him chances to text or call. I realize he may go do it anyway, but damn Sun, this is your home too. I HATE it when OW has the balls to text or call my H when he is here. I know it pisses you off, but ya gotta act like its funny or something . I know I got really upset and pissy when my H actually picked up the call, but previously I had learned to smile and look amused when the text alert went off, or if it rang, I'd say theres the call! with a smile on my face. Like you know they are being stupid, and it amuses you. C'mon ,he turns the phone so you don't see the call come in? what is this -5th grade??? I think if he sees you not getting upset, it loses some of its quality. And, how about having someone call you? Now you can pick up the phone check the # and say Hmmm, let this go to voice mail, I'll get it later with a sly smile on your face like you are amused, like it may be a date calling. Of corse this only works if you have seperate phone that he cannot check. Its also 5th grade, but done once or twice, can be effective. It happend to me by accident when my sis called, but made H think it may have been someone. He immediately made comments about it being my date, and you can tell him you didn't expect to have your old man here so late. What a rush! He still gave a crap to be at least a little jealous or curious! But if he can bust you, it'll only make you look pathetic, so don't do it if you can get caught. How are things goin as far as other parts of R? Not bein nosy ( yea, i am, sorry- its been a while...how bad is that ,I have to live vicariously through other people now???) If your love life is goin ok still or you are trying to improve it and getting good results, it can help go a long way towards making her look like nothin'. All he can do is imagine her, you are right here. Did you find out what this guys LL is yet? How 'bout yours? I am sorry if i seem pushy, I think I am transferring my desperation onto you. I am just so frustrated for me/you cause you have him right there, and damn theres gotta be something we can do to get you guys on track!!! Have you tried what i said the othernight about acting as if she doesn't exsist? can you pretend its SEARS calling when his phone rings? I know this is sooo hard cause its not Sears, its OW and she wants to keep her mental hold on him. If he is acting differently, maybe the push to ask for D was good, why was he peppy and nice? Did you tell him he was gonna have to leave? Is he still being nice tonight. I can see why no affection was initiated, hard to get lovin when you are askin for a D! When does he think this divorce is gonna happen. If you are serious about this sun, you may want to have a target date in mind.Do they still make you do a legal seperation for 1 year befor D in NY? And are you regretting your decison to ask him for it?
