I think that your H will be quite upset when he receives the bill in the mail. But since you have little contact with him, what is your choice.
Well I did something tonight. As much as I was positive after reading your advice on my other thread about being lite, not dark. I told H that I want him to file for divorce. I just feel like I have no other option now. He agreed. Then I told him that you know that is not what I want, but because he wont give me any respect about OW, that I cannot go on living like this. And if we continue this way that D will one day hate him becuz of what he is doing to mommy just like when his father did it to him. When his father started his A (7 yrs ago) with internet girlfriend, H was pissed/hurt. He saw the emotional pain it put his mother through, and yet H is following in fathers footsteps exactly. It is like he took what his father did and used it as a how to guide. Tonight I saw an email from OW's 12 yr old son. H sent her son a pic of our brand new dog. And in the note from son he wrote, Teutul got much bigger since the last pic you sent me and say hello to Emily for me (Em is our daughter). Then I went into our digital camera software and saw that OW's email address was in our software again. I deleted it a few weeks ago, which meant he sent her pics too. Then I noticed that there were two pics taken of our daughter (she got stiches last night) so he sent her a pic of our daughters newest boo boo. I sat there in dismay and said to myself, this is never going to end. Also I know that the cellphone bill did not come and it is due next week. Not thinking that H hid it (because he hasnt hid it in months even tho there are all the damaging phone calls on it) so I went online and saw that the bill has been paid on 12/23. So now he is getting worse. Going back to hiding the bills. Let me tell you that this man has never paid a bill in his life. I have always taken care of all the bills. He has only written one check out in his life. SO I am sitting upstairs while H is downstairs and thinking, what the hell do I want to do. This is getting out of hand and like I said, worse. He is backsliding. So I go downstairs and tell him that I think we should divorce and he agreed. I am partly thinking that this will shake him up a bit, since I have never really said to go for the divorce and meant it. So I guess this is my last resort technique. I know that might be an idiotic thing to have done being that I am fortunate that we live together and it gives me the chance to DB all the damn time, but I just cant do it anymore. He spent ALL day online with OW today. I had asked him to fix the vacuum today and he didnt. We were supposed to go out for dinner tonight at 5:30 and instead at 4:00 he went to McDonalds, knowing that we had plans. I just ran out of steam. I do want to thank you for the sound advice, and I know you might think that I am crazy, but I am tired of crying, I am tired of H and this crap. I have told him a hundred times that I dont blame him for having feelings for someone else, I blame him now for not squashing them because he knows what he is doing is wrong, yet he doesnt try to stop it. I will keep you updated on how this unfolds, I am sure I have a rough couple of days in front of me. My biggest challenge will be not to go back to acting like nothing is wrong the day after saying something so potent. Then it looks as if I didnt mean what I said.
Keep me updated on H's reaction to bill. I think just by knowing men and obviously our H's all have alot in common, your H will not be thrilled with your method of delivery. But its not like you can just drop by and say oh by the way... SO let me know.
