Sportster, I've been following your story and I think the one word for you is: patience. My heart has gone out to you (and everyone else here) so often because it is all so familiar to me. I got the old "I love you, but I'm not in love with you anymore" song and dance and every other line known to man. I waited out the OW and it was total agony.
I was reading an article about marriage and the men said that all they want from marriage are three things; affection, approval and appreciation. I would say that pretty much follows what gboat said about adventure, a battle and a beauty to rescue. They NEED to be needed. From what you have said, you did everything for him and left him with no role. Now he has someone to "rescue" and look what he is doing. Yes, I know, all these things we learn too late.
But I also think deep down you are still the one and he is currently sidetracked by his MLC. It is sooo hard to be patient and friendly and loving and wait, but unfortunately, I think that's what you have to do. The average relationship lasts about 5-7 months in its intense stage, or so I've been told. My H's lasted 7 months but he was with her 9 or 10 months.
I wish you luck; all of you. And me too, cos we still are working on things and aren't there yet! Just wanted to add my 2 cents.
