Molliew-first of all, I don't know you, but I love ya. You always make me have to think about what I "think " is .
But I do have some reasons for the stuff I posted.
1- he IS going ask me for the papers soon, if you read my post about convo with SIL /MIL you gotta get that he was probably telling them he is going through with this ASAP.I had a suspicion that MIL read him the riot act at Thanksgiving for even giving me the forms- she was mad when I told her and said "he did that already??"
2- I know they (SIL MIL) are concerned for me, and maybe worried that we will sell the house and I will not have found a place to live yet. But I also know they would not have even asked me that (till at least Tues when I will see them for lunch)if it had not been brought up by someone.
3- ok, I'll give you the vet bill thing, last time he came here he still gets misty eyed talking about our baby. I do still too.
4-As for OW being attractive, way back when H was actually dicussing her with me, I asked him. He did say she was attractive, quote" she is nice looking, not where she walks in a room and guys would go 'damn!' but she is nice looking" Plus, I think I know who she is from when we went to the company picnic.But don't know if I could pick her out in a line-up
5- I know that he could not /would not reconcile now cause he DOES have feelings for her,and anything you know about this and guys tell you that men usually do not leave unless they have something to go to. and even his sister said "Sorry to tell you this but this divorce IS gonna happen.If he comes back right now he looks like an even bigger jerk and fool then for the lame reason he left". I had given him suggestions on how to get her to stop calling texting back then (I would NEVER think of doing that now, I want her to annoy him)when I had asked him if helping her was a bit more than he thought it was gonna be (back when he was insisting they were "friends") But he said, well she has a good heart and I think she just needs someone to listen to her, But she does talk alot. Well, here we are 4 months later, and it is progressed now that he has to RUN to her home when she calls to console or protect her against her H and his tirades.
6.- This IS totally different than what he has with me. She is younger by 6 years, she has kids, she is english/german decent (I know, so what, but apparently it was important enough for my H to mention it like "hey we're the same kind". I am Italian ,and so is OW H) And she "needs" him. He is willing to do whatever it takes to help her, comfort her. He truly wants to be there for her. She was getting beaten for years, on and off, but she kept taking her H back. Even her family gave up trying to help her, OW sis is married to OW H's brother, and even they gave up. She doesn't get along with her parents to well, my H said. But because of my H she now had the courage to finally file for divorce. Guess he made her fel safe enough. Previously she would not file for fear of her life.
7- I don't know why she was not at Xmas or NYE, (and you know I had suspicions on that as well) the only reason I can think of is that she has family and kids and they wanted her to be with them, and this NYE thing was kinda mandatory for my h to be at. Plus if he brings her around NOW, everyone will know that he was full of crap that this all just started 4 months ago.I do still harbor hope that he IS taking his time deciding if this is the kind of drama he wants in his life and maybe he wa happy just to take a break for a day or two.
I know what you mean by they hate when we assume, but I don't tell him, I usually vent to you all, or my sis or friend, or MIL/SIL. I was wrong abut today, I was sure I was gonna get a phone call asking again for the famous "bike ride" that never happens, but includes papers of some sort But glad I didn't.
I am having a hard time with the GAL. Still slow going. I just feel so in limbo. I am tortured by the fact that he chose this path to get a new life for himself. That he no longer wants me is hard to take for me. I realize my part(s) in it, but I also realize that he doesn't want to change, not long term, at least not for now. With all the meaness that happened, I still love him. I know I gotta GAL and move on like he is not coming back. I am very lonely - you know how it is. I crave hugs kisses ML from him, all stuff I know can't happen anymore. Do you still get to be with your H in these ways? Even with all the bad stuff that happened, we did still have that up until he left, abbreviated sometimes, but still a part of our lives. I think I told you already, but the last 2 weeks he was at home we ML alot,and it was the best we'd been in at least a few years! kisses like we were in high school, long and sweet.Even the hugs and kisses I got after he left are not happening anymore. I still remember them and it makes it twice as tough imagining that SHE may now be getting that tender treatment.
Yea, I'll have to go to wal-mart or at least another biker event if I need an ego boosting day
thanks again...p.s. your husband must be crazy to even think about not wanting you, you are probably the best friend he will ever have
