Well the New Year came in with a real bang. After finding out H left my side to call OW at 12:02 the world fell apart. I realized that his "friendship" with her was continuing and while I am inclined to believe there as been no PA since July ( because H is always around) I still have my doubts. I called OW Sat am and asked her nicely to stay out of our life. She asked why is it my fault and I said because you are calling another womans husband on NY Eve. After a lengthly conversation it became even more apparent that this thing continues. I came home and told H I am tired of lies etc. He says its nothing more than friendship and he will end it but is worried about job etc. So about an hour later I checked his message on his cell phone and it was from OW. It was a 3 minute message about how much she loves him and will do anything to be with him and knows hes going through a tough time but "we" will get through it together. I confront H who just 30 minutes ago tells me OW knows there is no hope because he has moved home etc etc. What the HECK (not the word I chose) is going on. This guy clearly as a problem. He's begging me not to leave begging me to give it a try, tells me he loves me so much and he is so sorry. Leaves to go to her house and tell her he is tired of living two lives... etc etc.c. Asks me to give it a try. I told him I was not going to make any decision either way at this point. Later I check his phone again and message from OW says.. you had no right coming over here and taking it out on me... I know you have "issues " right now but its not my fault and did you really think this could continue like this. So for the first time H was telling me some truth that he did go over there. I know I shouldnt be checking messages etc etc. but its the only way I know whats going on and I have nothing to lose at this point. IF H wants out he can have it, but he doesnt which is what I cant figure out. Why would he risk our marriage and reconciliation. Things were going great and we were back on track. He really was living two lives and tells because it was difficult to end with her and she is obsessed. Might be some truth to that but not much. Anyway he goes to work today. Says he will share emails with me that she sends but I dont beleive he will do that. He doesnt have the guts. Says he will quit job but quitting job with nothing else will just add pressure to our relationship and will that really solve the problem I dont know what the problem is anymore. So I am going to wait and see what happens the next few days. I think I can get past all this if I want to but I dont want to until I am 100% sure H is telling truths. Any advice or comments would be greatly appreciated.
PS I told H is one of our discussions that if he told me the truth I wouldnt flip out and call OW. So when I heard the first message and told H i heard it he asked if I called OW. I said no... I made you a promise tha I can hanlde the truth" So I pat myself on the back for that but would love to call OW (Even though I realize it wouldnt accomplish anything
