I have to defend myself here. I never said what CeMar was asking for is unreasonable. I needed clarification for my LD mind. So.... I asked for clarification.
If CeMar ever gets around to responding, I will ask him further questions. Like... out of this list, what is he willing to work on first. If he hands this list to his wife, complete as it is with no other discussion, she will probably shut down.
If he were to say, "this is where I'd like to be SOMEday... pick a few things on the list you would like to start with... we can work toward the other things."
I think CeMar needs to help her by sharing his inner-most feelings with her, and if he doesn't know what they are, he needs to think about it. He needs to be encouraging. He needs to find out what she needs from him, and not accept "nothing," or "I don't know."
With their religious background, I think CeMar should haul his wife off to one of the Marriage Encounter Weekends. The fact that she is WILLING but not at all desirous means to me that there is a whole lot to work with there if he is willing to change himself.
CeMar and his wife need to figure out how to fan the flames of desire. This is not something that comes rushing back at you...you have to light a match and get the kindling going before you get the bonfire, and you have to do it TOGETHER. That's where I was going with this.
