Cemar, My goodness, that is some list! I'm HD but if I were presented with this list, I'd probably withdraw too! You're looking for a lightning bolt and ignoring the small signs. Take it one step at a time, look for and appreciate the small gestures that she shows. That she is willing at all is probably a huge step for her. Accept that for the loving effort it is, praise her for it, and give her room to get comfortable and grow with it. Listen to her, tell her in a loving way how her holding back makes you feel. Find out how you are making her feel, listen and try to change yourself to meet her halfway. You are not going to change her by asking her to meet a list of demands that from her POV is an impossible list. Before she does anything more, you need to make some really big changes in yourself. I imagine she is also miserable, frustrated, and doesn't have a clue how to fix things. Have you considered counselling? How about attending a WWME weekend? What is her love language? Have you even bothered to ask?
--GGB, who might have had a similar list not so long ago.
