Quote: In the past, it was a place of defeat for me. I had a "victim mentality" and felt trapped into it. Now it's different. It's very much like a PM boundary where you refuse to accept "mercy sex". I can respect myself in it. I'm not trying to manipulate my W to do (or not do) anything. Neither am I committing myself to this forever. Things could change and I can be hopeful that they will.
It does feel a bit artificial. But like anything else, I will get used to it by doing it for a while.
Barney, this pretty accurately describes the "place" where I've lived the past 2-3 years. I think of it as consciously CHOOSING celibacy, rather than having it thrust upon me by an LD/ND wife, with me hoping against hope every day if "today might be the day" that she feels affectionate towards me.
I just have problems with "mercy sex", scheduled sex (before I get a BUNCH of replies, I do NOT equate the two -- I just have a hard time with both) or any affection or desire that is only given because she's threatened with me leaving her.
