I'm with HP as far as leaving the house during outbursts goes. It is simply not acceptable. My H once in a while goes into a tirade where he randomly yells (he's usually very even keeled) - not at anyone in particular but about something and sometimes it goes overboard - once I just walked away from him without a word. He was awfully loving later on that evening... (not sex, just loving).
Also as far as the going ND/LD goes - doesn't it feel inauthentic to you? I struggle with this one myself. Sometimes I get so worn down in the struggle that I actually don't feel much desire. Currently, I am just trying to behave how I authentically feel rather than "trying not to desire."
