I just had a weird idea for you. Why don't you install some video cameras in the main living spaces in your house? Let your W know that you are doing this and tell her you're doing it because you want her to be able to see how irrational she becomes during her angry outbursts. Either she will stop having angry outbursts because she doesn't want to see herself having one or she will forget about the cameras and can have a learning experience by viewing the tape. Of course, she might just "attack" you in dark corners of the house only.
I guess I'm making this wacky suggestion because I have a mother with "rage" issues and I know that it made no difference how many people told her she was out of control. She had to figure this out for herself. The funny thing is she still "goes off" sometimes, but she knows that her reactions are extreme and doesn't expect anyone to take her seriously. For instance, she's currently angry at my H because he's unemployed, so she called me and vented for about a half-hour in an inappropriate manner, but she started the convo by saying "I respect the fact that you are handling your problems in a calm and mature manner but...." and she ended the convo by saying "..but (H) is a nice person, so I'm going to pray for him.". Then H got mad at me because I didn't hang up on my mother because she was insulting him. It isn't pleasant to have to deal with angry outbursts and it doesn't really matter how justified it might be.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
