I hate to hear the tone of your messages...they sound so defeated, yet I understand how that is.
You mentioned more than once that you truly believe he loves you...but he doesn't know it? I know what you're saying (been there done that myself) BUT, sitting the fence doesn't force him to straighten up.....and I know what some of the books say, but I believe he has an addiction to these clubs and addicts need to be treated differently.
I'm also going to point something else out...because I want you to see what you are saying here....."At this point I don't think he's been sucked into that world again,(yet) but the fact that he's going is a symptom of his lack of respect for me." You say he's not been sucked back in but he's going? Um hon....he's sucked back in if he's going. He wouldn't be sucked in if he stayed away. Do you see how skewed your thinking on that is? It's as if you want to give him the benefit of the doubt so badly...that you're going to search for a way to do so.
I know how that is, I've excused behaviors myself w/my ex. The sad fact of the matter is this....if he's going to the strip club (I don't care if he spends money there or not) he's sucked back in. It's only a matter of time before the money starts disappearing into that place again.
Now please don't think I'm trying to berate you or tear you down....what I'm truly trying to do is prop you up. Sometimes w/an addict (which I truly believe he is) kicking them out is the best thing you can do for them. Forcing him to rock bottom, making him really see what he's losing can be the best medicine at times.
My only advice if you should ask him to leave is that you don't close the door to your heart. I made that mistake myself. My ex was an alcoholic, my leaving him was the proverbial smack upside the head with a 2"x4" that he needed as a wake-up call. It was the last day he took a drink, but it took me 2 years to stop being angry/hurt. He tried several times within a year and a half or so to get back with me, but I was tooo angry. Finally when I realized I wasn't angry any longer and wanted to try...he had moved on (who could blame him?). So, if you ask him to leave don't close the door to your heart. Make it clear (since I know you love him still) that there is a way back home...but tell him what must be done in order to come back.
